#vegaspete
whoisthatmovinginthedark
Thinking about the safe house experience from Pete's side especially. How those highest of highs and the lowest of lows turned into an eventually unbearable mind-fuck that he needed to get away from no matter how much it hurt him to do so.
And then coming back from it different. And even though he has people who care and want to listen, they're ultimately unable to give him what he needs, because that kind of pain can really only be consoled by the one who caused it (or so it feels) as long as it fucked with his mind too. If it was real.
And there's just something so intimate in sharing pain that only the two of you are able to understand, that when they finally saw each other again, that fleeting moment they were able sob in each other's arms before separating again devastates me in the best possible way.
“First you meet someone—someone who is completely different from everyone around you. Someone who sees everything in a different light and forces you to shift, change your angle of vision, observe everything anew, within and without. You think you can keep a safe distance from him. You think you can navigate your way through this beautiful storm until you realize, much too suddenly, you are thrust out into the open and in fact, you control nothing.”
— Elif Shafak, The Bastard of Istanbul