tanoraqui
listen I know demonic cultivation is inherently corrosive to the soul and/or body or whatever and Wei Wuxian wouldn’t want to encourage it among the youth, BUT there is a 100% chance that not long after canon he ushers Lan Sizhui out to the woods, somewhere they absolutely will not be overheard, and is like, “okay, demonic cultivation is inherently corrosive to the soul and/or body and I don’t want to encourage it among the youth, but I need you to drop your Lan propriety for the afternoon and learn these whistles I’m about to teach you to summon Wen Ning in an emergency.” Wen Ning is there, nodding enthusiastically. (It was probably his idea; he made dead puppy dog eyes until Wei Wuxian caved)
ctl-yuejie
i really thought this was gonna go in the sex ed direction so let me be the one to say...#wwx takes lsz aside like 'listen. i don't think it's a good idea for you to be doing demonic cultivation right now.#but i recognize that you might do it anyway and as your father who loves you i just want to make sure that if you do decide#to demonically cultivate...that you do it SAFELY. so pay attention because i have some tips and supplies to give you.'#lsz goes red and does whatever the lan equivalent of 'daaaaaaaad this is so embaaaaaarrassinggggg' is#and wwx is like 'i know son you'd probably rather be talking to literally anyone else about this but unfortunately for you#i AM the only expert in the world on this practice. if you learn about it from anyone else you're going to do it wrong#and put yourself at risk. there is a lot of misinformation out there and i want to make sure you know what's true. for instance:#i know people say that it always hurts the first time but it doesn't have to! and if you find yourself bleeding regularly#you need to be gentler with the energy. when you're doing it right there's no need for anyone to get hurt.#except your enemies i guess lol. and maybe the corpses.#make sure to clean your instrument of resentful energy after every use. otherwise it gets crusted right on there and it's very grody.#it's okay to be drawn to demonic cultivation. it happens a lot at your age. often several times a day.#just remember that it's not appropriate to do it in public when other people are around. you don't need to be ashamed but#it's a private matter. i mean your granduncle practically blacked out one day in class when i just mentioned it.#i wasn't even doing it in front of him or anything! it was purely a theoretical discussion. but that's still too much for people.#though given how red your face is right now i'm guessing you also are not interested in discussing this topic. okay sorry.#you know what. would it be easier if i just wrote this all down? like in book form? then you could pass it around to all your friends and -#no? you don't want your friends reading a book about this that your dad wrote? you'd sooner die? okay okay sheesh#i'll just give a guest lecture or something. AH YUAN!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING???' (an amazing short fic by @howdydowdy )
mamapluto
JC to Jin Ling: if you have demonic cultivation you will get pregnant and die