prev post like the idea of enduring eternity with lestat is something that grows stale and hard and horrible over the course of the series but by the end, when he has to allow himself to fall in love again, he’s able to do so because the idea is temporary. he’ll be dead soon. so romanticising it all again is easy! just like any marriage that spark of new love goes out and the everyday is just endurance. but turned up to the max. put a time limit on it and it’s easy again! anything forever is a horror story!
throwing up just thinking about how intensely louis must have felt for lestat in those first months —those first years. what little he admits about his feelings speaks of a deep, fierce attachment —confided in him like no-one outside of his family before, 'lestat was my coal fire', 'you did good to get off that boat when you did', an intimacy like he had never experienced before. and obviously lestat knows of the strength of louis' feelings, we know he knows about it, he can hear and touch and feel it, there's no doubt in his words when he tells louis 'you send your love back round to me'. he knows louis also feels at home with him and he says so. and of course louis responds with a gesture, because he can't do it with words.
just kills me to think that louis lost that, the miracle of having someone who understood his affection without him needing to pull his teeth trying to express it. at the center of him there's a sense of alienation from other people that he has never been able to overcome, and during those months, lestat was the one place where he belonged. with him louis was seen, but the moment he was turned, lestat could no longer see all of him. he still had to wear a dozen different faces, and now a new mask for the one person with whom he thought he wouldn't need it. and a century later, he's still isolated, still performing, still struggling to express even decades-old feelings.
the thing is that claudia —as she ages especially— she sees louis clearly and she understands him, and louis loves her deeply and he's able to express his love for her unlike his love for lestat which was always stuck in his throat. but because louis thinks of himself as claudia's father, he doesn't want her to really see him, he wants her to see the role he's performing for her. and i'm sure that the more he tries to play the father, the more claudia will grow sick of him.
????????Louis's mother seeing the Devil in Louis's eyes then being rejected by his sister, who's name is literally GRACE. The same name as the free and unmerited favour of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings??????????????
something something about lestat murdering two priests in a church being the first true killing louis witnesses….. something about lestat viciously proclaiming them charlatans…… something something about lestat kneeling before louis at the steps leading up to the altar and eucharist, pledging his love and devotion to him…. bidding him to let go of his shame and shame-desiring god to love him, to worship him with his love and the giving of his life….. something about louis kissing the blood from lestat’s mouth in gratitude as his final human act…. something something about louis drinking from lestat as the christ figure looks down over their act of sacrilege… something, something, take this and drink, for this is my blood of the new covenant…………………..
postcanon nie huaisang you poor sod. you miserable bitch. boy applied layer after layer of his life-ruining revenge woodblock print and what now, love? is it pretty? is it nice to look at? being postcanon jiang cheng is better than being postcanon nie huaisang, can you IMAGINE having it worse than jiang cheng? fucked up. jesus christ, nie huaisang
Originally, Zhang Zhehan’s line here was “你是我的人” which translates to “you are my person/you are mine”. But due to censorship, they had it dubbed over with the line “省省吧你”, meaning “save it” instead.
soooo, this is a thing that i just learned about today and i’m at a loss for words. like it is pretty obvious what type of relationship xie’er and zhao jing have but i didn’t think they would be so blunt in the original.
therealrashid
