Everyday it’s me first I don’t deserve it but it’s not about that i just want it so I take it and often other people matter very little unless I love you in my own fucked up way of loving where I make meals out of a grain of salt that only I can eat but of course they are pretend food so the love is conditional it never lasts unless you say I love you too and bare your veins to me my conscience works half the time i was taught to care about people when did that changed does it come and go for others too it doesn’t bother me as much as it probably should i perform in more ways than one though im not exactly making an effort to appear sympathetic in fact i do not try at all I hate myself too much to be this selfish