i accidentally took an almost three hour nap today and oh boy did it make me feel real fucking sad. then i thought about my dad’s death anniversary coming up and made myself sadder. the last time i spoke to him (last time i heard him laugh, too) was on christmas eve over the phone, he sounded so tired but happy to be talking to me, i hadn’t seen him in months at this point. it’s been almost fifteen years and it really doesn’t get easier.