valsdas

okay okay but the way 2022 Louis is carrying himself with so much composure at the expense of his more human reactions and emotions and every time he is approaching one, armand is there to make sure he gets back to "himself" and to "care for him more than he cares for himself" basically trying to control his outbursts but the outbursts are the only times that 2022 Louis seems human any more?? but he also carries so much grief and regret and shame over his past outbursts of rage and emotion including attacking Daniel in the past, and his love for Lestat still! still!!! that he seems so very resigned to folding in on himself and repressing himself and to armand keeping him in check because he still doesn't know who he is! and it's like he's decided to try out this sad eerie detached version of himself to see how's that one gonna work but it's clearly not working because hes invited Daniel to participate in his suicide note composing but really to act as his sounding board for his own bullshit, the knife that AT LAST starts to cut thru the gordian knot of repressed memories and self-doubt and posturing he has tied himself into because he STILL cannot fully accept himself for how he is!! something something who even are we without our trauma?? which version of ourselves?? do we recognize ourselves without it? can we exist without it? are we forever prisoners to shame? do we consider ourselves worthy of love despite it all or do we perceive ourselves ugly monsters deserving of our cage and undeserving of anything else? ARE WE THE SUM OF OUR WORST MOMENTS?